Legally Blonde Style

Screen Shot 2017 02 22 At 3.43.27 PM

Today I want to go to law school. I can’t quite figure out how that’s going to mesh with the porn present, past and future. Maybe I’ll just be an activist with a law degree. Or a stay at home mom. I’ll hang my degree in the nursery.

I’ve met enough lawyers to say I’m not always impressed. Same with politicians. I’ve also met 8th grade dropouts who redefined the universe for me. The moral of the story is I think I could to this law school thing as long as I have this blog to vent about it for three years straight. People would probably get tired of hearing about the daily sights and smells of law school and the color of the teacher’s hair though. I’d have to break it up with stories of how I seduced the dude next to me to breathe some life into the monotony. Ad hoc. And then we disband.

There is the question of what school to go to. I’m more than happy to move but I wouldn’t want to give up porn until I graduated, which presents a real issue because they seem to expect me to be a paralegal or do legal community service or something to that effect while enrolled. Fuck that. If they’re going to charge me $50,000 a year then I’m going to stick with the job that will cover the expense.

There is the chance that my secret double life as a pornstar will come to light. I can’t even simply give out the name Kayden anymore because the wikipedia page is the first thing that comes up on google, and it tells on me. I actually made that mistake recently. Someone asked what my name was and I said Kayden and for some reason he looked it up…. then asked if I had any affiliation with the “actress” Kayden Kross. He said there was a striking resemblance. I can’t imagine that the school would really mess with me over it though, not with my new lawyerly skills and love for PR.

I wouldn’t be able to arbitrarily say ‘fuck that’ anymore to express my feelings. Or cuntbitchwhore. I’d have to use my inside voice and let the point I’m trying to make follow from a logical build up. I’d have to give up my aspirations to be a pre-Columbus-horse-owning-Indian because they don’t need lawyers. Kudos to the society that doesn’t need lawyers though.

I’ll reassess it tomorrow if it’s still on my mind. Maybe I’ll play it out in a porn scenario first to see how it fits.

Leave a Reply

Search