I have the solution

OK so the fact is I think I have a diagnosable run of the mill textbook case of ADD. I think I need drugs and therapy. I think it shouldn’t take 10 days to do 10 pages of work.

And it’s not that I’m slow because I did 5 of the 10 pages just yesterday before I turned it in. Most of my 10 days were spent doing everything but the paper. My business cards and receipts are now organized. My beta fish tank has been cleaned (twice). My lightswitch plates are spotless (2am urge) and my laundry is done and sorted by color and sleeve length. All of it. I even booked an appt. to check my eyesight after I stared at the screen trying to get the thesis sentence wrapped up for six hours so now I feel like I’m on top of my health as well. That’s a lie though. I spent those six hours toggling between formspring and twitter and updating my amazon wishlist. Then I took a break to bond with my rabbit.

If I were to be completely honest I’d tell you that I’ve actually had the entire semester to do this paper. I had the choice of any current foreign policy issue. I blasted it on twitter: pick your poison.

And they came back with Israel/Palestine. Cut and dry. Right. I can’t even turn in a current paper on this mess because the second I wrap it up they’ve made the headlines again. And of course twitter doesn’t just want to give you a topic and tell you to run with it. Suggestions come with opinions. Then they’re asking me to post the paper. Fuck that I’ll get shot.

The problem was specifically writing the paper. The research came easy. You can follow a million different leads down the rabbit hole and come out the other side knowing less than you went in with. I followed the history all the way back to biblical times and they told me that David and Solomon were as real as King Arthur. I was disappointed.

I had to address three things on this paper: the players, the cause, and the solution. Ok I got liberal with the players and I got detailed with the cause… but the solution? What solution? Who could possibly propose a viable solution to a situation essentially designed for war with 2000 years of history sitting on top of the worlds energy source in ten pages?

So I got vague with the solution, or maybe not so much vague as realistic. The answer is that there isn’t a fair solution at this point. My solution is that the UN can keep slapping resolutions against Israel and the US can keep funding it and the Palestinians can keep moving back off their land and civilians can keep getting bombed walking to school and peace talks can keep crumbling and the oil companies can keep drilling and the people of god can keep praying and we can all keep staring at our screens wondering why Justin Beiber is always a trending topic on twitter, then in 20 or 50 years we can all look back and shake our heads and mutter to ourselves that we can’t believe we allowed it to go on.

Signals from Washington and the public seem to suggest that they’re going to adopt my plan.