Finance Homework

A short narration of me doing finance homework (again):

I got home with the will to jump on the treadmill and the caffeine in my system to make it happen. But there was a lot of caffeine, so I got distracted while looking for my tennis shoes and ended up on twitter, with is exactly the kind of word that attracts jittery people… and someone had responded to my post about the finance midterm, which prompted me to log on to the website and check my cumulative grade… It was there I ran into a bouncy exclamation point notifying me that my assignment was due in 5 hours and counting.

If you’re wondering what assignment I’m talking about, then we’re on the same page. So I started searching for my syllabus, which got me back on twitter where I had to comment on how much porn was on my computer, and that reminded me that I needed to log in to myspace because it had been a few days, but then something shiny reminded me that I needed to find my syllabus. So I did. And I couldn’t do this particular assignment without doing the reading, so I tried to cut corners and download the lecture notes, and while they were printing I tried to catch up on the comments on myspace where I was diverted to a website that I’m convinced either gave my computer an STD or at least phished my information so I had to take the time to take some precautionary measures while the lecture notes sat cooling by the printer.

The assignment: I remembered it somewhere along the way. If you haven’t figured it out for yourself by now then let me just make it clear that I really didn’t want to spend today doing this god forsaken homework. It was pretty outside. I had dinner plans. I had just purposely consumed more coffee than is recommended for long term sitting and textbook-reading followed by detailed math computations. I’d even Tivo’d Family Guy as a side dish to my treadmill experience. At some point it became clear that the lecture notes wouldn’t cut it and I’d have to read the book, so I went outside with it.

But first Sammy the bunny had to be outside and graze next to me, so I set him up. Then I had to feed my goldfish. Then I was thirsty… Then twitter responses. Check to make sure I wasn’t locked out of myspace. Check Facebook. Check Gmail (both accounts). Clean the bathroom mirror. Sweep. Hang a picture. Anything.

Finally I was out of trivial tasks and I sat back down with the book. I got a phone call from someone I would normally never pick up for. I picked up. Then I was hungry. I made a quick snack and decided I needed to find the key to the perfect hardboiled egg so I looked it up and experimented. There are now six hardboiled eggs in my fridge. I don’t know if they’re perfect because I haven’t peeled a single one. But I did learn to spin them like a top to make sure they’re done. The soft ones are wobbly.

And I sat back down again. I got another two pages done. A friend called and asked if I was hungry. I was not but I offered to make him some hardboiled eggs. He came by and opted for my leftover Thai food instead. I understood. He left. I sat back down. Two more pages. Another call. Dinner was at 8. It was now 6:30. Two more pages. I decided to wing it and do the homework off of the bit of the chapter I’d completed. It worked and I uploaded the assignment at 7:30. I was in the shower at 7:32pm and please, someone remind me that there is always a finance assignment due on Sundays. Always.