Progress report

Downtime….. I have two hours to kill until the CD class starts. I’m at the campus early because I had to make up a finance midterm for an online class. I figured I’d blog because it’s one of the few sites I visit regularly where gang bangs don’t stream effortlessly across the screen when I log in. I’m in the cafeteria and they look down on that around here.

I’ll always remember this school. It has taught me great life lessons in the .75 semester I’ve been here. For example: the secret to happiness is eavesdropping. I felt true joy when I walked out of the test and overheard a woman telling a student that she had two grandchildren and he needed to hit on his own generation.

Another life lesson: always be aware of your surroundings. It put a big wide smile on my face when I was leaving the parking lot and campus security had posted a notice regarding an increase in vehicular thefts in recent months. It advised that we start shutting and locking our doors and rolling up our windows, and also that we call them if there is an incident. I worry about the poor souls who have suffered at the hands of hardened criminals because they didn’t get this advice in time.

I’ve been happy with the entertainment value of the professors as well. I’m not knocking their ability. I would say the political history class was one of the best I’ve ever had. But it can’t be compared to the theater class with the orange haired professor who makes us say black bug’s blood black bug’s blood black bug’s blood while she goes off about underknickers and getting in the moment. You have to feel that he wants in your underknickers. How would you stand if he wanted in your underknickers. What are you drawing from? What is your character’s history and where is the conflict. I don’t see the conflict personally. What if I want him in my underknickers?

Even the test I just took has entertainment value. I do believe I was just given credit for an answer I got wrong because I originally marked it right and then changed it. The words “always” and “never” get me every time in a test question. I start second guessing myself and trying to think of exceptions. This professor was sympathetic to my cause.

And then of course there is the Child Development class that makes me stare at small children in my free time. I just turned in the one on infants and toddlers aged 0-30 months, and now I’m on to preschoolers. I have to find a group of them before the 28th. She assigned it so effortlessly, as if these things travel around in packs and I just have to wait by the watering hole. She has me trained. I automatically tune in every time one enters a building now.

So from this school I will take twelve units, possibly a second AA, one parking ticket, a child watching habit, countless twitter-worthy updates, and a wealth of fortune cookie wisdom. I think I got a fair deal.