Porn interviews don’t have much variation. Sometimes they throw a curve ball in the form of a political question and even more rarely history or math but even then it’s not for the answer it’s for the reaction—can the porn chick add two and two and does she know what the Warsaw Pact is. They prefer if you don’t. Get creative. Giggle and say balls. Or Megan Fox. Then they get back to the cookie cutter questions about how many orgasms we can have and which position we like and how old we were when we started having sex and if you really want to have fun with it you can give a different answer every time so people will start comparing notes and scratching their heads. Here’s the one that always stumps me though: “what is your fantasy.”
I really do say that. I don’t know what my fantasy is. It used to be a B/B/G hookup. Two guys one girl all mine. Then one day, many many weeks into the epically long filming of “The 8th Day”, I started part one of a two-part scene. In the storyline I’m coming out of a euphoria and I round the corner into a room of gorgeous men and I have one and then he’s not enough so I have another and he’s still not enough and as I’m about to move on to the third the euphoria wears off and I realize that my gorgeous men aren’t really gorgeous men and I run out screaming. So the director calls action and I dive in throat first and it’s wonderful like always and it keeps going and going and I become more and more aware of the one watching with his dick in his hand (because the other two are there as props for part 1) and suddenly I reach over and pull him in and he’s not quite sure how to react but he most definitely doesn’t say no and I hear the director under his breath telling everyone “don’t stop rolling.”
And so there went my fantasy. I lived it. It was good. I did it again in a second movie not long after and I’d do it a third time. I expected to get the most selfish sex of my life but it’s the complete opposite and somehow it still works for me. It’s very hard to keep two men satisfied at once. They’re selfish creatures by nature.
But now I don’t have a new fantasy to fill the void. I hear other girls in the industry talking about theirs and phrases like “100 guy gang bangs” get tossed around and one likes chloroform but I just haven’t found mine yet and I feel displaced. I’m open to suggestions though. I think “2 girls 1 cup” was the pinnacle of organic sexual creativity and not in a good way. Now we have CGI in porn and fantasies involve technology. This is a new day dreaming era. People will see Belladonna slay a giant worm in Pirates 2 and next thing you know there will be a demand for interactive DVDs with talking putty-like insects. Times are changing. I need to catch up.